a matter of pride

today was a good day.

i spent the entire day inside (which i don't like)
i spent all day sitting at a desk, working on one task that i completed five minutes before it needed to be finished (not fun)
i accomplished next to nothing all day (that's what comes from spending seven straight hours on one thing)
i had ugly hair, a disaster of an outfit, and was flustered when i arrived on campus tonight.
all of these things tend to send me into an anger spiral. i become irritable, unpleasant, and snarky...usually. yet at the moment i am not. why?

i had a conversation, albeit a short one, but an actual conversation with someone i don't know. they're in two of my classes. they were in my classes last semester. but i've never said a single word to this person. and yet there he was: standing in front of the building my class is in. we had a short conversation. those who know me will understand why this is such a big deal. i don't warm up to people easily. becoming friends with someone means trusting them, and i can't do that easily. talking to new people turns me into a nervous wreck. i tend to just shuffle about campus, i sit in class and rarely contribute to discussions. i keep to myself.

so it's fair to say that i'm feeling a bit proud of myself for stepping out of my hermit-crab shell.

today was a good day.