starvation?

Every time I look in the mirror, I think, "No one will ever want you because you're fat." Some days I substitute other words like, "weird," "ugly," "boring," "stupid," etc. However, those new adjectives are usually followed by "fat" anyway. 

I've been told I am "pretty," "hot," "gorgeous," "beautiful," what have you, but I've yet to believe it. Usually these people are people who love me and are therefore biased. Most of them are female. I've also been told by friends that so-and-so thinks I'm hot or is interested in me. This leads me to wonder, if that is the case, why the hell don't they tell me so themselves?

I feel like such a stereotypical girl for thinking about this.