The fact that Valentine's Day is coming up, brings all the couples around me to attention. I've noticed there are a lot of ugly men with beautiful women. Instead of wanting to give the guy a high-five, I find myself confounded by the situation at hand. WHY does there seem to be a boom of beautiful women and a shortage of male equals?
Is it an evolution of the sexes...or are women suspiciously better at hiding flaws?
Am I the only one that thinks this?
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perhaps the "beautiful women" find the "ugly man" to be more attractive than the guy who doesn't have to try so hard and can get by on looks. there are things that can be attractive about the man who isn't conventionally handsome: kindness, talent, humor...the list goes on.
ReplyDeleteis there a rule that states couples have to be "equals" in physical beauty?
here's how it works in my head:
ReplyDeletei think that, in a lot of cases, it's easier for the woman to "date down" in terms of mere looks because it's a confidence issue. if she's a pretty woman, she's probably aware that people will appreciate her looks. therefore, whatever guy she gets together with will learn to appreciate her for her personality, as well--because eventually he's going to realize that her beauty isn't going anywhere (at least, not immediately). therefore, they appreciate each others' personalities, and so it works, because okay, even though it might have been initially sparked by looks, it lasts because of core connection.
conversely, i speak for myself in the oppositing situation--it's hard for a less-pretty girl to "land" a good-looking guy, because again, a confidence issue. it's hard to convince someone of yourinner qualities when all they might see are your looks. furthermore, i've always had this innate sense that "beautiful people belong together." i'd feel out of place dating someone whose looks were on a more perfect scale than mine....unless, of course, he threw himself at me (and please, that's not happening).
so, i don't know.
i also think it could possibly be an issue of control, or something like a power trip. the woman lacks confidence in other areas, so she exerts confidence by knowing "i'm awesome, he's so fortunate to be with me"--she knows she's better-looking, and so she knows that she has the "upper hand." however, i would like to state that i think this is an incredibly shallow way of thinking, and i also think it's an unhealthy relationship dynamic. i don't think relationships that operate out of that "i have control because i'm better than he is" understanding have much hope for surviving.
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