A Challenge.

I challenge you to express yourself..
Tell me about you, the REAL you.

It can be through words, music, art, pictures, video, color, people, by whatever creative means YOU can think of.

It seems as if there is far too much to bring us down- so I challenge all of you to take this message seriously and create something of YOU.

And feel free to post it in this post/comment/whatever.

It's yours..Now run with it.

Ennui

Sometimes, I honestly wish I would get into a car accident or fall into a coma or have something happen to me. Then, in the hospital, I would find out how many people would actually care. Is that horrible of me? My life is so monotonous. Every day, the same routine. I see the same people, do the same things. On days off, I'm stuck doing nothing. My computer is my only link to the outside world. College can't come fast enough. I feel so suffocated and suppressed.

I feel all tense inside, like I waiting for an explosion. I think injury would be that explosion. Something drastic that would make my life more interesting, so that I wouldn't be crying for no reason. I feel like I'm never going to be able to do what I want to do. I'm going to be trapped inside this cage for the rest of my life. I'll never be able to express myself, or really experience anything. The thought just makes me want to SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone, please help. Everyday I get more irritable and more depressed. I don't want to contemplate suicide or injury. I don't want to hurt the people around me, but I feel like I'm being left behind in their dust. I don't know what I want to do with my life, and I can't really do anything special. Everyone else has their dreams and talents. I feel like I'm being cheated. I want to see the sun rise over the ocean, instead of set. I want to eat Japanese food in Japan, and walk inside the Coloseum, and visit the country of my origins. I want to learn how to paint, and master photography, and learn Russian and Japanese and German and Italian. I want to visit Poland, a country with one of the saddest histories in the whole world. I want to see a live ballet performance, and take my mother to a Chinese opera. I want to prove to everyone who ever looked down on me that I can acheive great things and have happiness without their approval.

God, I just want to live. I want to stop struggling with my faith and just be happy for once in my life. I want to see my sister and niece again. I want my father to come back from the dead and hug me and tell me he's proud of me.

So would my death or injury cure me of my ennui? I think so. And that's a scary thought. Someone, please help me. Help me before I do something drastic.

Evolution of the sexes?

The fact that Valentine's Day is coming up, brings all the couples around me to attention. I've noticed there are a lot of ugly men with beautiful women. Instead of wanting to give the guy a high-five, I find myself confounded by the situation at hand. WHY does there seem to be a boom of beautiful women and a shortage of male equals?

Is it an evolution of the sexes...or are women suspiciously better at hiding flaws?

Am I the only one that thinks this?

posting and cycles

I love coming onto this site and am excited to see each new post. Although I don't know who each poster is, it comforting to know they share the same universal space and are willing to take a few minutes out of their day to come here.
And be honest.
I am beginning to see certain cycles my life has taken. Some scare me while others I feel like embracing. Not because they're good- but because they teach the same lesson I should have learned 4 years ago. That seems contradictory but it's oddly comforting, knowing that by moving on that same chilling cycle will be behind me and life will come with new obstacles and entertainments.
The word cycle scares me. That word has been used negatively too many times, though comfort is still associated. Due to its unfortunate regularity.
Maybe my voice will be heard, but for now those that matter will still be there and trash will be emptied.